[Mishmash] Fwd: The Purina Diet

[Susan Flewelling]

Too funny not to share!

>I was in Wal Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador
>Retrievers and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I
>had a dog. Duh!
>On impulse, I told her that No, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
>although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital 
>last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive 
>care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both 
>arms.
>I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
>works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
>one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
>nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
>I have to mention here practically everyone in the line was by now
>enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
>Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
>was that why I ended up in the hospital.
>I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a 
>car hit me......
>I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
>
>giggle