[Mishmash] Fw: alternate citizenship test

[David Brown]

Good attempt Fred but I think there is room for improvement.  I will send the answers and translations after a respectable time so others can test their kulcheral skills.

Cheers

David

-----Original Message-----
From: mishmash-bounces at mishmash.net [mailto:mishmash-bounces at mishmash.net] On Behalf Of Fred Atkinson
Sent: Tuesday, 18 September 2007 11:17 AM
To: Mishmash
Subject: Re: [Mishmash] Fw: alternate citizenship test

>> > LANGUAGE
>> > 1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the
>> origin of,
>> > the term "died in the arse"?

    Shot in the ***?

>> > 2. What is a mole?

    6.023 times 10 to the 23rd power (Avogadros Number).

>> > 3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-
>> ey?

    I have no idea.

>> > 4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos
>> > rocked up for a Barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of
>> a Bex
>> > and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies,
>> bickies
>> > and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block
>> after Dad
>> > and Steve had a Barney and a bit of biffo."

    Well, Barbie means barbecue.  I think bevvies means beverages.  Snags 
are little Australian sausages.  Pressies means presents.

    That's about as far as I can go with this one.

>> > CUSTOMS
>> > 1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana.
>> If
>> > they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey
>> and
>> > Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume
>> between
>> > flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

    I'm lost on this one.

>> > 2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't
>> bother

    knocking.

>> > … b) You're going home in the back of a …

    Hearse.

>> > C) Fair suck of the …

    BLEEP.

>> > 3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

    Well, I'd guess that the gutful would be a stomach full of beer.

>> > 4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

    Couldn't tell you.

>> > 5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard
>> "up
>> > on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

    No, the homeowner's associations would fine them for that.

>> > FOOD
>> > 1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat,
>> cabbage,
>> > curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow
>> mein,
>> > chop suey or Kai see Ming?

    No, my family rarely eats Chinese.  But it was my understanding (and 
experience) that Mexican is the most popular cuisine in Australia.

>> > 2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

    No clue.

>> > 3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

    Tear the wrapper off and eat it (I can get Tim Tam's at the Australian 
Bakery Cafe here in Marietta, by the way).

>> > 4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and
>> other
>> > dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?

    No, I don't.

>> > 5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a
>> chop and
>> > two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been
>> > nicked from a bath full of ice?

    Never.

>> > 6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat Barbie can you eat other
>> people's
>> > meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

    We usually share.

>> > 7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is
>> required by
>> > law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

    I have no clue.

>> > CULTURE
>> > 1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs,
>> an
>> > Esky or Ugg boots?

    This one I have not heard.

>> > 2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

    You tell me.

>> > 3. Who would you like to crack on to?

    Now, let's keep this clean.

>> > 4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True
>> Blue"
>> > Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

    No clue.

>> > 5. Is there someone you are only mates with because
>> > They own a trailer or have a pool?

    No.

>> > 6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

    No.  I can't handle beer.

>> > The people to be granted citizenship are the ones who call it a crock
>> and
>> > cheat.

    Oh, well.




                                                                             
    Fred


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