[Singles] FW: Holy Humor

[Katherine Jones]

________________________________
From: Stephanie Sanchez
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:05 AM
Subject: FW: Holy Humor




HOLY HUMOR

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan.  She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"  A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark ?"  "No," replied Johnny.  "How could he,
with just two worms."

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .  She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the chapter.  Little Rick was excited about
the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.  After much
practice, he could barely get past the first line.  On the day that the
kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I
need to know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.  One day,
she asked him why.  "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was
so observant of his messages.  "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon."  "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers for you each night?  That's very commendable. What does she
say?"  The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers , she would bless
every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you
always add the part about all girls?"  Her response, "Because everybody
always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.  "Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer."
said his mother.  "I don't need to," the boy replied.  "Of course, you do
"his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and
she knows how to cook.

THE BIBLE
Did you know that...When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache.
When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints.
Let's read the Bible every day - So he keeps on fainting.
Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake up.

And did you also know that when you are about to forward this email to
others, The devil will discourage you, but forward it anyway.





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